Home Dreams THE LONG NIGHT OF THE SOUL

THE LONG NIGHT OF THE SOUL

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forest

forest

The Sun is setting, the twilight approaches, long shadows begin to form, to stretch in front of me, pointing to the Forest ahead, my footsteps so firm before begin to loose hold, my pace slows.

Life has been kind to me, a constant discovery, joy has always permeated the hard times, somehow, I felt I always had a good Star watching over me, so what could have gone wrong…

Now the Forest is right in front of me, I can feel a cold breeze moving gently the leaves in the Trees, the path narrows, I begin to feel the wetness of the ground and the smell of the moss covering the Tree trunks, the light fades…

My footsteps are soft, silent and careful, I begin to see fleeting shadows moving between the Trees, a chill runs up in my spine, I can hear only my breathing, I’m afraid to disturb the Forest, I’m afraid of awaking my ghosts.

But of no vail, thy are already awake, lurking in the shadows of my memories, they were waiting for this moment, for a long time they waited.

I keep walking, slowly measuring every step, and one by one they appear in front of me, some were hiding behind the Trees, some seem to come out of the ground, some just materialize from the thin air, memories, memories.

Some of my ghosts are very old, from my childhood, they seemed to have been forgotten under my old bed, only to come out now, bringing the memory long forgotten of being harshly punished, scared, of waking up in the middle of the night not knowing where I was, the darkness scaring my little soul.

Then other ghosts appeared bringing memories of a time I became myself, hiding my feelings and afraid to be exposed, always trying to prove myself against the odds, a time my Spirit began to feel the harshness of the world out there.

Another ghost appear, and I understood that what I took for love, was only possessiveness, I could see myself being ripped apart with a broken Heart, and I felt again the pain, only this time it was looking from the outside, and the pain dissolved like the mist between the Trees.

I kept walking, knowing I had more to face, I held my fear back, I knew they were all ghosts, they couldn’t do me harm anymore,  and surely, they came, now the ghost was full of pride, it had created a strong shield, nothing would harm me anymore, but the shield was like the ghost, its appearance was of hard metal, its consistency as dim as the ghost, and slowly it faded away.

Then I saw a clearing in the Forest, and a fire, sitting around the fireplace old Men were warming themselves, they wore clothes worn by time and use, their grey and white hair told me they were old, very old. Humbly I approached, upon seeing me, they pointed and empty spot close to the fire and I sat, now I could feel the cold that had set into my bones, it was a relieve to warm my bones close to the fire.

Such a warm feeling emanated from their faces and smiles, soon I felt comfortable, with a chill I remembered how long the path had been, and how lonely I had been, now I was with the grandfathers, warm at last, they were Taitas, and the one next to me had a wind leaves in his hand, so boldly I asked if he would be so kind and give me a cleansing, I still felt the chills from the forest ghosts in my body.

Sure he said and began to sing and wave his wind leaves over my body.

At one moment he stopped, tapped on the back of my head and said:

Wow, you have so many books in there, a library! 

I felt a pang of pride and answered: 

Yes, I’ve read so many books!

So, he said, he better take good care of it!

Then a little cup was offered to me, I took it and drank, it was Yagé.

Soon I felt it running through my veins, a warm feeling took over my body, a flash of colorful light permeated my vision and I saw myself inside a library, I knew it was my head.

So happily I began to clean that room, there were spider webs in every corner, dust on the floor, all seemed so old and dusty, and I cleaned and cleaned, until I saw it clearly, then I began to look at the books, and I knew at once, there was nothing real in it, only fables about a world out there, based in lies, very tales, indoctrination, dogmas, doctrines, nothing, absolutely nothing was real!

All the history contained in those books were tales about enemies that had to be destroyed, about fallen ones, about death tanned as “progress” as “civilization”. All the heroes were the ones who weren’t able to run away and died, or the ones who did the most killings…

Than I was shown the first lines of the Bible, saying: 

All Nature was here for the use of Men!

Finally I understood, I had to start all over again and educate myself, I was at ground zero, I knew nothing! 

The night went on, the fire burning, the grandfathers singing, and my soul weeping. 

Then the Sunlight began to illuminate the Forest, the Trees lost their ghostly hue, the grandfathers were gone, the fire extinguished, I was alone. 

In front of me the path was clear now, and my steps began to sound, this time confident with no fear, knowing there was still a long way to leave the Forest, I walked.

  • Text from my Book “Pathfinder into Inner Realms” you can contact me for a copy in Pdf, Epub or Kindle. paperback by Amazon.
SOURCEEduardo Zotz
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I was born in the south of Brazil, a traveler by passion, I have spent most of my life in Latin America, Europe and the US. 18 years ago I took an apprenticeship with Cofan Elders in Colombia and have been studying traditional Medicine since. I live in Ecuador, and work as a Jungle Guide, taking friends to drink Yagé with Taitas Cofanes in the Jungle. Yagé is a world in itself, and an endless path into eternity, a path filled with wonders, mystery and challenges, where tears of joy, pain and sorrow run together, a world where magic beings are met in every bend of the path, and strange ones lurk in the shadows…

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